A Stranger's London
All creatures great and small
None of the stories you have ever heard about the British and their animals has been exaggerated. They do give the impression that their dogs, cats and horses and budgies and all the other animals that they keep as pets tend to make more emotional demands on them than human beings ever do.Incidents about firemen risking their lives to save a cat caught up in the chimney or dogs on the roof are everyday occurrences and people are scandalized to think that a fireman or neighbour would consider his own humble life better worth preserving than that of a dog.
When two years ago there were IRA terrorist bombs in Regents Park and Hyde Park killing and maiming many soldiers, the country's united sympathies seemed to be more with the horses killed and injured in the Hyde Park blast than with the young men riding them who were killed and injured with them. The whole world read about and saw pictures of Sefton the horse that touched the hearts of millions. Luckily of course, Sefton made a good recovery and took special pride of place at this year's trooping the colours ceremony which was its last ceremonial appearance.
Some of the animal rescue stories don't end so happily as was the case a year ago, when four lives were lost trying to save a dog from the sea at Brighton.
If such stories don't convince you about the seriousness with which the natives here take their pet animals, you should have seen the raw emotions displayed at the recent demonstrations against the export of guard dogs to Nigeria! To hear them tell it, it was a wonder that nobody had thought to protest against British citizens (of the human variety) going to the hell-hole that they believe Nigeria to be.
A recent court case just ended in London though must make anybody think twice before tangling with a Briton over an animal. At a cost of about £10,000, a judge has finally decided the ownership of a ginger haired tomcat that had been the object of litigation between two neighbours for months. As the court case dragged on about whether the cat was Marmaduke (a policeman and his wife claimed that was their cat and its name) or Sonny (in which case it belonged to their bachelor neighbour) all the newspapers, radio and television stations kept the public properly informed about the progress.
The RSPCA of course played its accustomed role and took custody of the cat while its ownership was being determined and their official brought the star to court daily.
When the judge finally delivered his verdict (not of the King Solomon type) which was to rule that the cat was Marmaduke, you could feel the agony expressed for the gentleman who believed the cat to be his Sonny which must have gone astray.
For exclusive rights to the Marmaduke story after the judgement was given, Fleet Street newspapers started a bidding war. One national newspaper has won the rights and the whole country is waiting to hear the saga of Marmaduke as told in his own inimitable way: Miaow!
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"England are given the last rites" - Observer. "We are dead and buried" - Sunday Express "Exercise in brutal beauty" - Sunday Telegraph "The cruel twist" - Mail on Sunday "England dig in for a long hot summer of toil" - Sunday Times. - If you think there is a war on in Britain that has not been declared by Parliament or the Sovereign, think again. Above are some of the headlines in last Sunday's newspapers describing the cricket Test match between the West Indies team and England.
You have to feel sorry for England, of course. They are taking a terrible pasting and the anguish of the people can be seen and felt and it will be a brave person that will try to gloat now in this moment of national disaster. It will be as tasteless as speaking ill of or making jokes about the dead.
As can be seen, the headlines themselves speak in such terms. The only sounds audible this past week have been the steel bands of the West Indian supporters for England have been given the last rites and are dead and buried. The Times of London summed it all up in an editorial headline "Scrapping the barrel: Floored, humbled, humiliated, massacred, swamped, slaughtered, battered, pole axed tortured, mauled, buried England after days at Edgbaston," The Times was quoting the reportage of the cricket news by the sports writers.
Fair daffodils
A young man and his girl friend were walking in a park, they were very much in love and Rick Rainford, the young man was feeling rather romantic. So he picked six daffodils for his girlfriend.A policewoman promptly approached them and said they had taken flowers that didn't belong to them and placed them under arrest. They thought it was all a joke especially since the day was 1 April and thus all Fools Day. Oh no, a deadly serious matter the policewoman assured them, marched them off to a police station, put them in separate cells and charged them with theft.
When they appeared before a Liverpool magistrates' court, they were bound over for a year for theft.
The wilting remains of the flowers were said to have been produced in court as evidence.