Eating Well To Live Long
A Touch of Nokoko by Kofi Akumanyi
Not only have I probably done irreparable damage to the heart which has the big responsibility of pumping life sustaining blood to all parts of my body but the very arteries that act as conduit pipes to do the job began hardening many years ago.
Back in Africa, where years of drought and famine of various magnitudes have reduced millions of people to living skeletons, the wonder is that some people still manage to die every year of heart attack and related diseases associated with the good living of the Western society.
Geoffrey Cannon's new book - The Food Scandal - published recently, had predictably sent alarm bells ringing frantically throughout many domestic kitchens throughout this country with its shattering revelations about British dietary habits. Being an African I would not have worried much about this except that the foods which have come under attack, I discovered, have featured prominently in my breakfast, lunch and supper dishes every day. From the look of things, if the nutritionists are to be believed, then if one intends to attain the biblical threescore and ten age span, then one must eschew all fattening foods and chew only brown bread, eat one or two fruits and unsalted foods, not forgetting to swallow a lot of roughage to clean up the system of the dangerous remnants.
To compound the issue further we are told that stress also accounts for the high blood pressure levels in this society and to counteract that we must all learn to relax. What, for the life of me, I cannot understand, is how on earth one can relax on a virtually empty stomach since those dangerous foods must be avoided. Jogging, the cheapest of all relaxation exercises, is absolutely intolerable because quenching the thirst with a bottle of coke after a hard work-out is strictly prohibited because - you're right - saccharin or the artificial sweeteners and in fact, sugar are killers.
I used to think (erroneously I am now told), that the quality and not quantity is important in dietary habits but this impression has been shattered with the revelation that the quantity of food we consume has definitely something to do with the problem - which immediately places many Africans on the danger list considering the bulky nature of most of the foods we consume.
I was so disturbed by these food scare stories that I was not surprised when I detected what I thought was a slight "heart murmur". Like a flash I was in my doctor's consulting room - one couldn't be too careful over such a matter. After a thorough check, he calmly informed me that I had been warned already that my age, weight and height do not correlate which was the reason why my poor heart has sent me the first warning signal to slow down before it packs up on me. I was flabbergasted, to put it mildly.
"But doctor, I don't eat much; in fact I think I don't eat at all but I keep putting on weight," I protested.
"That's not true. It's not the quantity but the quality of food you eat that counts" he said. "That contradicts Geoffrey Cannon's book - The Food Scandal," I pointed out.
"Who is he?"
"He says in his book that we are eating the wrong food and that's why thousands die of heart-related diseases every year."
"He is basically right; only the approach is wrong.”
"What approach? The man says almost everything we've been eating is wrong. In fact if everybody followed his suggestions, the frozen food shops and many others in related industries would go out of business," I said heatedly.
"Remember your heart and don't get so excited," the doctor reminded me, "since most people are so stupid when it comes to following their gastronomic pleasures, it would not do them any good just to write books about the problem."
"What's your solution?"
"Simple - for a start a law must be introduced to ban eating in the street. You see this habit doesn't encourage self control. While the street corner shops do roaring business, life-span of the ignorant population is being reduced."
'But surely, doc, think about the unemployment which this is going to bring about."
"Think about the lives that would be saved that way. Eating in cinemas and theatres should also be banned outright. The salted rubbish that is consumed in such places must have sown the seed of bad health of many a youth."
"There would definitely be riots if that law is enforced."
"They would be forever grateful in their old age. Banning of all restaurants would hopefully put the nail in the coffin of heart diseases."
"The measures are fine, except that I don't think shutting down all restaurants and fish and chip shops would stop people from eating the killer foods," I said.
"Food rationing is the answer. In this way the government can control the amount and quantity of food people eat. If this is done scrupulously, it would help reduce the workload of harassed doctors who are presently overburdened with heart disease patients and, of course, taxpayers can breathe easier with less contribution to national health programme."
"Good gracious, doc, do you realise the displeasure that you'll incur with the implementation of these measures?"
"I know, but people have had their way for far too long and this is what they need to put some sense into thick heads."
"How would you ensure that these their rules are obeyed?"
"Simple, introduce random weight checks. The police would stop anybody and check his weight on a portable electronic scales. Offenders would be fined on the spot. It would essentially be like drivers and breathalysers."
"Jesus Christ! That sounds like George Orwell's 1984" I exclaimed.
"Who is George Orwell?...Oh yes that chap... You know something, he probably died of cardiac infarction!"
