The Rag Trader's Headache
A Touch Of Nokoko by Kofi Akumanyi
Although he declined to mention names, his targets are obviously Labour MPs, some of whom are noted for wearing dark glasses in the House. Another Labour MP is regularly clothed in brown drain-pipe corduroy trousers and a patterned brown jacket while another member is often seen wearing open-neck shirts and frequent sandals.
...
If there is one fact of life I learnt early in my childhood it is that a man's attire tells a lot about him and therefore it is important always to dress neatly, but not necessarily expensively. To be fobbish or dandy requires money, a lot of it to maintain standards. Then, of course, some would argue that it is not even the price of the clothes one wears that matters but other factors such as neatness of the clothes and wearer's ability to put the 'rags' to the best of use by way of self comportment.
However, if a member of Parliament chooses to discard the strict dressing code and adorns himself with clothes that raise eyebrows then many questions are bound to be asked. There is another side to the issue. There very well could be people who do not care one hoot about what they wear so long as they have something to literally cover their nakedness. For such people, a Pierre Cardin silk shirt and tie, Saville Row suit made to measure by Bespoke tailors of international repute, and for women a Nina Ricci wardrobe offered absolutely free of charge would be a meaningless gesture that would not be appreciated. So the question arises: do clothes make a man or vice-versa? I put this question to an internationally well-known psychologist on fashion.
"Oh definitely. You can tell a man's station in life, his tastes and his wallet by the clothes he wears," he informed me without the slightest hesitation.
"That contradicts the popular saying that you could hardly ever judge a book correctly by its cover," I challenged the authority on clothes.
"Whoever made that statement popular, was talking through his pants; he did not know what he was talking about. Those of us in the haute couture rag trade can tell at a glance the character and station of a man by his clothes".
"How do you do that?"
"Simple. It's all in the wearer's mind. The psychologist would tell you that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Don't you ever believe him; it's nonsense. Whatever reflects in the eyes comes from the deep recesses of the mind."
"I'm confused by all this."
"You're meant to be - that's what we thrive on in the rag trade."
"O.K. how do you explain the recent parliamentary uproar over the reportedly shabby attire of some honourable members? We must assume that money may not be the problem" I asked.
"Shabbily dressed members of Parliament? Are they Conservative, Labour or Social Democrat?"
"Mostly Labour, according to the report”
"There is your answer."
"I haven't seen any, besides just because a man subscribes to a certain ideology doesn't necessarily make him forgo his artistic sensibilities with regard to clothes," I protested.
"The socialist ideology abhors extravagance.”
"But that still doesn't stop the leaders of the world's known socialist countries from wearing the best suits from western capitalist clothing shops."
"Well, well, if that's true why does Mr Michael Foot, the former leader of the Labour Party like dressing up in such undescript outfits?" he threw the question back at me.
"I suppose it's because he and the other parliamentarians have one objective in mind to give substance to the famous maxim of Karl Marx, the father of Socialism "from each according to his abilities, to each according to his needs."
What's that supposed to mean?" "Quite simple: people may choose to dress in rags if the price is right!"
