A Stranger's London
Jokes on the Royals
It has been reported that the ban on jokes about the Royals which has been imposed for many years would be lifted for next month's Royal Variety Show. It is believed that the Independent Televisions last satirical puppet show series which made irreverent jokes about the Royal family might have opened the way.So we are expected to be treated to jokes like this: When Prince Charles was getting married he went to the Queen and Prince Phillip and said: 'Can we have the Royal Coach for the wedding?'
'No,' said the Queen, 'you'll have to teach yourself like your father and I did'.
This contribution from comedian Jim Bowen is the kind of humour producer Louis Benjamin will be exposing the Royal Box to next month.
The flying baby
Tiny baby Roseanne Wokefenden flew into a storm of protest when she set a new aviation record. Roseanne's father took her up in a controversial microlight plane when she was four weeks old.Richard, who builds microlights, thinks his daughter has set a world record as the youngest person to fly in one.
But Britain's aviation authority, which says there have been several fatal accidents involving the tiny powered aircraft, are furious.
Richard, who took Roseanne on the flight strapped into a harness to celebrate a £30,000 order with his wife's agreement - however, said: "I have absolute faith in my machines, otherwise I would not have taken her with me."
Rod's cash claim
Millionaire rock star Rod Stewart is making an amazing legal claim in his divorce battle with wife Alana.He wants the right to get his hands on her money for the children if ever times get hard for him. "I've never heard anything like this before," said Alana's lawyer, Maryanne LaGuardia. If his maintenance application is granted, it could mean that the children could live with him, while Alana pays to support them.
Squash is not a killer
Following the sudden death of Leonard Rossiter, the star of the popular TV situation comedy 'Rising Damp', a small controversy has erupted over the game to which Rossiter was addicted.Superfit super star, Tommy Steel, who is also a squash player, has rebuffed the argument that the sport is a killer.
"That's a lot of rot," he says. "I reckon it's much more dangerous being a swimmer than a squash player. I mean, if you get cramp when you're doing the breast stroke, you drown. What about darts? Suppose an arrow ricochets off the board into a player's eye it could blind him!"
Rossiter was a member of London's South Kensington Squash club, but it was at least five days before his death that he last played.
Heaven help these Bishops
Woodrow Wyatt (The Voice of Reason) commenting on the recent contributions by some Bishops over the protracted miners strike, noted that "violence breeds violence. We are being indoctrinated into the belief that violence for political objects is OK," he said."It is in this atmosphere that horrific outrages, like that of Brighton, occur.. The Archbishop of Canterbury and the Bishop of Durham are lukewarm of the Scargill mafia violence... These clergymen are responsible for increasing violence by their toleration of it.
"According to the Church of England, 1,606,000 people went to their churches on Sundays in 1968. By 1982 the figure had dropped to 1,200,000. Now only 1 in 40 go to Church of England churches. That's why the Bishop of Durham and the Archbishop of Canterbury have made sensational speeches on topics they don't understand..."
Digging deep
A News of the World advertisement, which a colleague found under her kitchen lino is sure to bring a wry smile to Arthur Scargill. Dated February 19, 1950, it reads: "Want work that's worthwhile? - you'll have a job for good in Mining." The ad quotes miner 'Loll' Moriarty of Bank Hall Colliery: "You can earn good money in Mining and you know it's a job with a future. The minimum wage for adult underground workers is £5 5/- a week, skilled face-workers between £9 and £10. "Best of all, you know your future's secure in the Country's coal mines! JOIN THE MINERS NOW!" -The Times Diary.TV booze adverts 'ruin "marriages'
Television beer commercials are damaging family life, a doctor has claimed. They give the impression it is more manly to have a pint with the lads in the local than to stay at home.The warning comes from GP, David Delvin in a British Medical Association booklet. He tells new fathers "Don't fall into the trap of thinking you'll be able to leave the care of your bouncing new baby to your missus - while you go off down the pub with your mates. "This is where alcohol advertising, especially on television, is unhelpful to married life in creating a 'macho' image for males.
New divorce law
The new divorce law came into force a couple of weeks ago with a clear message - children come first.Out went the idea that women should get a meal ticket for life, underwritten by their ex-husbands. The new plan is that they should be self-sufficient. And with it the notion that the children should not suffer.
But an action group for one-parent families believe that the new laws, far from being a children's charter, could condemn many to poverty.
They say that if women get less maintenance youngsters would auto- matically suffer financially. And the changes could actually discourage women from working to support their children.
