Is it time to go home? A rejoinder
By Kofi Tetteh
Dear Ama Asante, it might be time to go home for other reasons but not for the restoration of dead values and values which are relatives and not absolutes.In her article 'It is time to go home?' which appeared in the 29 October 1984 issue, Ama Asante posed the question whether as a concomitant of serious erosion of certain values in our society she must not pack bag and baggage and return to help restore these values.
Values, whether cultural or historical are not ABSOLUTES. They are relatives and functions of time and space. Consequently they do change and erode. Time and tide wait for no man.
Once upon a time, in the village when a girl or a woman menstruate she was banished from the house for the duration of the period. At that time one perfectly understood the underpinning reason for the banishment. We all love to be pure and clean. Though this natural and biological cleansing process was never the doing of the girl or woman, the village in general and the household in particular saw to it that this value was not flouted. Everybody put an accent on this tradition. The girl or woman was therefore asked to stay outside the compound till the process was over.
Now the banishment has been banished. As the personal hygiene of women has now improved tremendously, there is no need to dogmatically follow this value. So can Ama Asante honestly mourn the death of this custom? I do not believe for one moment that she asks her daughter to stay outside the house when this monthly cycle comes round.
Respect for the elderly is also another value we very much extol. And one way we tended to demonstrate this was not to address or call anybody older than you by their first name. You will agree with me that this custom is also gradually crumbling down. My own children sometimes call me by my first name. More often than not they dictate the channels/programmes to watch on the telly. You might be tempted to say this is a weakness in our household system.
On the contrary the more you suppress the kids needs, desires, and wishes, the more you inhibit their innate qualities. You must however draw the line somewhere. After all those who explore, take initiatives and are more adventurous are the ones who are more inventive.
I hope you do recall those days when your mother called your father 'Ama Papa' and not 'Darling' or whatever fanciful pet name you now call your husband. You see Ama Asante societal changes are so rapid that values which we once eulogised do not matter any more now. The world is now market orientated. If a 'THING' does not MEET or SATISFY a NEED we do not put any value on it.
I hope you do recall those days when your mother called your father 'Ama Papa' and not 'Darling' or whatever fanciful pet name you now call your husband. Societal changes are so rapid that values which we once eulogised do not matter anymore now. The world is now market orientated. If a 'THING' does not MEET or SATISFY a NEED we do not put any value on it.
Do not eat your heart out if your daughter cannot go through the process of 'grinding, pounding and sieving' to make the 'groundnut soup'. Rather encourage her, and if you can afford to provide the 'environment' to enable her to use 'computers to order the groceries from the supermarket'. Then her husband will not send her back to you. In fact her husband will sing your praises all the time.
Years ago, I used to admire and adulate the dexterous nature of our womenfolk in the villages when they balanced foodstuff and firewood on their heads while at the same time holding other loads in their hands. Yes, as you rightly mentioned, children balance buckets of water on their heads. With the advent of vehicles, network of roads and railways, and many homes having their own water supply, are these dexterous values worthwhile and needed to be extolled now?
Ama Asante, you are not betraying any cultural values if your children are not willing to experiment with drinking soup with their fingers. Nothing will become of your son if he cannot handle a catapult. He has not lost anything, Instead something will become of him if he cannot handle a computer'. The trend all over the world now is towards a cultural computerisation and information technology.
Dear Ama Asante, I believe you do appreciate the tremendous effect these plethora of technologies have on all aspects of our lives and society in general. Thus the only culture we value is change.
I could see that you are somebody who is culturally changeable. I can detect that quality in you. You do not appear to be a 'conservative' (with a small 'c'). After all, you have learned to eat fish and chips. You sing praises of fresh milk, and you tell people 'what a lovely day'. That is great. If you can stretch this quality in you to accommodate the fact that values are not static and that they are dynamic, your question will be answered.
In the olden days before two people got married, it was sine qua non that the couple’s backgrounds were probed and their parents' history and background were also investigated. The raison d'etre was the establishment or non- establishment of hereditary traits, transmittable diseases and compatibility. The advancement of medicine has eradicated many of these diseases. What do we see now? The role of compatibility and suitability is being performed by computer dating. Once again we do not have to cling to old values if they do not serve any need.
You see Ama Asante, the Ghanaian society is also undergoing some kind of metamorphosis except that the rate is not on par with say societies in Japan, UK or the U.S.A.
We still have our Agbadza, Adowa and the highlife. But bodybopping and breakdancing are infiltrating into our musical and dancing culture.
Most kids now do not sit under trees in the moonlit night to tell Anansesem. They choose to watch TV, Videos or go to the cinema. I am not suggesting here that the scene is changed completely in its totality. Far from it. There are still those who play 'Ampe' or tell Anansesem. But the shift is towards TV's videos and cinemas. Do not for one second think I have been brainwashed and indoctrinated into accepting that new technologies and for that matter computerisation is the panacea to everything and all in all. Sorry!
What I am saying is we should now channel our energies into what is now here with us rather than be miserable because certain values which we once adored are now becoming extinct simply because they do not meet or satisfy any needs in our present world.
Surely when you said "the more I think about it, the more I think I should go back home and make sure Ghana remains or returns to the country of my youth and of my dreams," you never meant it. I do not believe you want to revert to the corn-cob when you go to the loo. I also do not believe you will ask your daughter to stay outside the house five days in every month for the obvious reason.
Further, do you mean you are going to teach your son to handle the catapult? If your son's name is Kojo, will you start calling your husband 'Kojo Papa', to restore the RESPECT value which seemed to have eroded between husband and wife? I am sure you are not going to stand sentry by your husband while he is having his meal, and when he has done justice to his fufu you bring round to him a big wet towel to put on his tummy.
I do not see the need for you to go back and revive the act of balancing groceries and buckets of water on heads. Even if you succeed is there now a need for this?
You also raised eyebrows on political values which Jerry John Rawlings seemed to be fashioning out. Dear Ama Asante, pull no punches. Jerry John Rawlings is not a philosopher King and for that matter cannot see the "ABSOLUTE" values. But if you can produce those political values which are 'absolutes', Justice, democracy, liberty, then it will be worthwhile bothering about.
The answer to your question is therefore no! It might be time to go home for other reasons but not for the restoration of dead values and values which are relatives and not absolutes.
