A Stranger's London
Miaow to the dog
A teenager was fined £100 last week for making an abusive remark to a police dog. He looked it squarely in the eyes and said "Miaow", reported the Daily Mirror.The word was threatening and abusive and likely to cause a breach of the police, a court was told. And it led to a scuffle during which a policeman had to hold it back from attacking the youth.
"I can't believe it," he said after being fined and bound over to keep the peace. "I wasn't doing anything wrong."
O'Dowd miaowed at the dog, called Peel, after being ordered to move on by its handler, acting Sergeant Fred Taylor.
O'Dowd's lawyer said: "I would... question whether the word 'miaow' be abusive, threatening or insulting particularly if the word was directed at a dog."
King of spades
Card-playing pensioner Les Smith has notched up an amazing double which could get him into the record books. Les, 68, was dealt all 13 spades in a game of brag and two days later got a second complete suite of spades at Moor Park Veterans' Club at Bradford, Yorkshire.Now, it's on the cards that Les will get into the Guinness Book of Records. His feat has odds of 635,000 million to one.
Sale of the century
When sales of shares in British Telecom kicks off sometime this week, the public, we have been assured through numerous advertisements on radio and television and brochures all over the country, would be participat- ing in one of the biggest and probably most profitable investments ever. But not everybody thinks so.At £1.30 per share and £500 minimum share-holding, Miles Kingston has listed a number of extra "benefits" such investors are likely to enjoy.
He wrote in the Times (November 19, 1984) that such a shareholder will be entitled to:
- Go straight to the top of any queue waiting outside a phone box.
- Kick the bloke out who is already in the phone box.
- Have free phone calls from a phone box to anywhere in the world.
- Get free medical attention after being attacked by angry phone box queues.
But there's far, far more to British Telecom shares than just a bit of bribe. You will also automatically become a member of the British Telecom club, a palatial premises in London's West End on more than five floors! Here you will be able to dine, dance and gamble till dawn... have fabulous gourmet meals in its Marconi Brasserie … see the floor show starring the Graham Belles... and, if you pick the wrong number, you can always spin again!
What's more, none of this will cost you a penny. It will all go on the phone bills of the people poor or stupid enough not to own British Telecom shares
Yes, being a British Telecom shareholder is more than just a matter of owning shares. It's a way of life, a chance to fulfil your potential and an opportunity to meet others who want a lot for a little. So please, please go out and buy as many shares as you can. Otherwise we may cut your phone off. We can't be fairer than that!
All a bit of leg-pulling, of course, but an indication of what some people think about the sale of the century.
Battle over £1 coin
A couple of years ago, when the one pound coin was introduced, at the invitation of one national newspaper readers coined names like the "Thatcher", the "mite" and various others which clearly suggested that its value had gone down. Now the government's plan to phase out the pound note has been met with loud protests in certain quarters. While the government claims that it would save £3 million on printing of the notes which do not last, anyway, and that the coin is an asset to the blind and coin-operated machine owners, the protesters claim that the coins are quite unpopular.Some MPs are urging the government to introduce £1 notes made from plastic which would have a much longer life. One shopkeeper, Max Winnberg from Wantage, Oxfordshire, had his own way of showing anger at the Chancellor of the Exchequer's decision...he banned £1 coins from his furniture shop.
Boring turkey
"With Christmas around the corner, preparations are feverishly going on to stock up for the festivities. Cooks are beginning to plan for the Christmas marathon so let me reveal some- thing I've never admitted before." (Wrote a columnist of the Mail on Sunday). "Turkey is a bore! How many cooks curse as they rise at dawn to stuff the wretched bird in the oven? And how many wish there was some- thing more inspiring or lighter than plum pudding and mince pies," he concluded.What I dread most is having to eat dishes compiled from left-over turkeys for days after Christmas. Anyone looking forward to it?
