Memo: Immigrants Export Company
A Touch Of Nokoko By Kofi Akumanyi
Mr Powell's "I told you so" remarks to Tory Women in Birkenhead echoed his "Rivers of Blood" speech 18 years ago which earned him the sack as Tory leader and Edward Heath's Shadow Minister of Defence."
Mrs Margaret Thatcher swiftly rejected Mr Powell's suggestion and said that "compulsory repatriation is not part of this government's policy”. She also emphasised that repatriation was out of the question because many immigrants were now permanently settled in Britain but noted that Mr Powell's suggestion was interesting.
As an African who has lived in this country's metropolis for quite a few years I must say that taking the totality of the beauty of the country and the peculiarities of the people therein, I have always wanted to throw up in utter disgust when Enoch Powell and people who think like him make their periodic statements on the state of racial harmony and the panacea which they believe, would solve problems with a stroke of the pen.
Outrageous though Mr Powell's views may be, there are thousands of perfectly sensible Britons out there who passionately believe that if Margaret Thatcher would not be such a stiff-necked opponent of repatriation the country could soon be cleared of "Africans and Asian newcomers", who, according to Michael Jones (political editor of the Sunday Times) came to our shores, particularly the inner cities and undoubtedly felt the brunt of the economic recession. I have had sleepless nights burning the midnight oil over the issue raised by Mr Powell in an effort to find a quick solution to the problem.
Now, I believe I have found a 100 percent fool-proof blue-print which could lay to rest the African and Indian influx headache. I have forwarded a copy of this paper published below to Mr Powell for his consideration.
Position Paper on British immigrants
Having seriously considered your suggestion that the government should repatriate all immigrants, particularly Africans and Indians, I would like to put forward the following for your consideration.1. In the first place I notice that in this second "Rivers of Blood" speech you did not mention the Afro- Caribbean community which was the focus of your attack in 1967 and managed to kick up a lot of dust and consequently cost you your job. I congratulate you for your sagacity on this politically explosive issue for it is a recognition of the fact that you have accepted the often argued point that the Caribbean youth who were involved in the Handsworth riots are bona fide British citizens who have nowhere to go. Their parents, having worked in various capacities in industry are entitled to live here. The only solution to their problem is how to find them jobs so that they can contribute their quota to the forward movement of society.
BLACK FALKLANDS COLONY
2. The real problem, therefore, lies with the Africans and Indian influx. Since no sane British politician would publicly like to be seen to support you, I think a new company should be formed to handle this. Since the nature of this operation is likely to arouse violent opposition if it is leaked, I suggest you call the company AI Export Company. Of course AI means Africans and Indians.3. You realise that not many Africans and Indians are exactly in favour of returning home voluntarily. The main objective of this company, therefore, is to devise a means of forcibly exporting them to their countries. To accomplish this peculiar export business, without incurring the wrath of the public, the company shall be registered off-shore and the crates (built to specification, of course) must be constructed of tough mahogany wood since Africans and Indians have a tendency to crack open wooden structures with ease when agitated.
4. The importance for strict security needs not be over-emphasised in this business if one hundred percent success is to be achieved and thereby bring in the full benefit. I therefore suggest that the "purchasing officers" be men with skills in undercover assignments. Currently, there are many ex-spies and discharged SAS men in the system who would gladly join the bandwagon. The rate of success of the business, you realise, would largely depend on those men.
5. I have heard it said, and I totally agree, that the 1967 compensation money of £5,000 has been overtaken by inflation and therefore ought to be increased to about £50,000. I suggest that it should be upped to about £100,000 to entice more to leave voluntarily.
6. It is very possible that some individuals to be exported may not want to return to their land of birth for many reasons, one being unfamiliarity with the good old place due to long absence. To cater for this group, I suggest Britain acquires an uninhabited land (I trust the British spirit of adventure to find one) where those hapless characters would be deposited. Alternatively, a special arrangement can be made with the Argentinians to give up a part of the Falklands for a new colony of blacks.
7. Notwithstanding the above points which have been raised with honest and best intentions in the world, there would be many who would read many unintended malice into the exercise.
For instance, they may compare the immigrant (export company) repatriation exercise to the obnoxious slave trade which was conducted with the active participation of your ancestors many many years ago - a state of affairs we all want to forget. But with your usual persuasive and poignant style of argument you could surely persuade them over to your point of view to appreciate the noble, sublime objective. CONCLUSION: All genuine businesses aim at making profit to plough back into it in order to expand. Since this business has a limited objective viz, the ridding of Britain of immigrants, any profit made would be given to the starving Ethiopians and other African countries hit by famine. For, after all, sending them back into the famine-ridden region would, without doubt aggravate the hunger situation.