Halley's Comet and all that
A Touch Of Nokoko
by Kofi Akumanyi
The question which came to my mind immediately was: why should anybody throw such a huge amount of money down the drain, especially when the wine, presumably still drinkable, will be the most expensive booze to tickle the human palate?
The answer to that, I was told, is that it is an investment which could yield a higher dividend as the wine matures in the purchaser's wine cellar (or will it be a bank vault?). Can you imagine what would happen if it accidentally ends up on the dinner table? A cartoon in one of the Sunday papers saw the funny part of the expensive wine scenario. The expensive wine was consumed by a fellow passenger travelling on a plane, who thought it was from the duty-free shop and promised to replace it with one from the bar! As you can imagine the owner of the wine was in an apoplectic rage. So much for the most expensive bottle of wine..
Another event which has engaged peoples' attention but is comparatively cheaper is Halley's Comet. What is Halley's Comet? Well, again I am not a star gazer and like many other millions of people when I look up in the firmament, the only heavenly bodies that I see and care to observe are the sun and moon.
OK, every day I scan through the morning papers' horoscope and my 'star' prediction under Capricorn says something like: "You'll spend more money than you intend, but there's a lucky trend which suggests cash on the way." The reality of the situation is that I do not have any money to spend at all and in fact I would probably incur debt by the end of the day. That's how far I trust the stars. Everybody reads the horoscope, few rely on them.
However, since the middle of this year Astrologers and Astronomers of all ages and persuasions have collectively gone barmy over Halley's Comet which last flashed past in 1910. It has been calculated that the comet has a habit of appearing like that every fifty years and a few of those who were lucky enough to have seen it the last time, are all geared up to repeat the once-in-a-lifetime experience.
One of the special arrangements laid on by British Airways, according to The Times, has been an unqualified success. At £30 a seat the airline is taking people on a flight to see the comet rushing through the sky at 100,000 mph and some 60 million miles from the earth.
I did not know how seriously people considered this comet business until I saw a sophisticated telescope in the back- garden of my friend Sam Koliko. This man is a classic case of a talent turned upside down.
He has a degree in Geology, worked as an administrative officer in the Ghana Civil Service for five years, came to Britain to study accountancy and took up Astronomy as a hobby. I found him looking up into the skies with his powerful telescope.
"Sammy" I said, "what do you think you're doing?"
"As you can see, I'm looking through this contraption called a telescope which brings the stars nearer…”
"OK, don't be so curt with me. I know what it is and what you're up to. I don't understand why you spend so much time looking up into the heavens while earthly problems stare you in the face."
"That's what people think. When I look into the skies I forget my problems."
"Which people?"
"I mean the uninitiated into the mysteries of the heavens."
"There are no mysteries in the heavens. If you want real mysteries you will find them right here on earth," I said, Just look at the hullabaloo about Halley's Comet."
"It is an experience all Astronomers cannot ignore. I bought this special telescope to enable me to participate in the event," he said, bubbling over with excitement.
"What do you expect to gain from all this?"
"Simple. Having studied the composition of the earth, I feel my knowledge of the universe would be complete with Astronomy."
"I can't dispute that."
"And of course, whether you believe it or not, the stars rule our lives."
"Oh they do, don't they?"
"Saturn, Mercury, Jupiter..”
"And Halley's Comet. With that fiery blaze I can well imagine the temper of those it rules."
"You cannot be serious. Halley's Comet is not in the astrological chart. It was discovered only in 1910."
"I see, so with all your knowledge in Astronomy and Astrology why could you not fortell your recent mishap?" I asked.
"Which one?"
"The loss pf £200 on "Saratoga" on Saturday's races at Epsom?"
"Well, it's because Jupiter was in the ascendancy and it was crossed by Mercury at an expected moment and caused... "
“Halley's Comet to accelerate
