Strangers' Britain
Judge locks up man for going to toilet
A desperate man was locked up on a judge's orders. . . for rushing off to the toilet. He just couldn't wait to answer the call of nature despite the judge's stern warning that no one should leave court. John Hopkins ordered everyone to stay put during his summing up of a week-long trial. He was worried the jury might be distracted.But in the public gallery at Nottingham, crown court, John Smith could hold on no longer.
John, a shop worker dashed off to the loo and was promptly arrested by a policeman for contempt of court. He was locked in the cells for an hour. But when he was brought into court the judge accepted his explanation and set him free.
John, 51, said later: "I thought I must have wandered into the ladies' by mistake when the policeman arrested me. "I was busting - I couldn't hang on any longer.
My Tel’s not so tiny, says wife
Tiny Terry West, the male stripper who failed to measure up at hen party got a mansize boost from his wife.Secretary Marie West said: "He may be only 5ft 8ins tall but he's all there where it matters. A boozy all-girl party booed and demanded their money back after Terry had shown them his all. But 33-year-old Marie said: "They must have been blind or blind drunk.
"I'm quite happy with my husband in all respects. I've no complaints."
Terry, 47, of Bideford, Devon, said: I'm an average man in all respects. I've never had any complaints before - but I've had many compliments.
Out of the mouths
Did you read about the school nativity play where a pint-sized Herod took out a plastic knife and stabbed Jesus with it, believing from his TV viewing that this was how a baddie would behave?You never know what you are going to get when infants make up their own scripts. I'm reminded - I've told this before but it bears repeating of an impromptu nativity play in an East Yorkshire village kindergarten where Joseph came in from the fields and piped up, "How's our little Jesus, Mary?"
"Ee," sighed Mary, "he's been a right little bugger all day.
Four-day marriage on rocks
A bride who married in a whirlwind romance left her husband after just four days. And now the couple could be heading for divorce. Linsey Messerchmidt, 33, fell in love with Terry Langworthy, 44, when they My Tel's not so tiny, says worked together at a hotel in Teignmouth, Devon.They married by special licence last month. But now Linsey says: "We are just not suited.
"We could not take each other's company 24 hours a day."-
Extra cash for couple in failed vasectomy
A couple who were awarded £9,677 damages because they had a sixth child three years after the husband had a vasectomy have won an extra £1,500 in the Court of Appeal.The court dismissed an appeal by Mr Brian Maurice, a surgeon of Toad Wall, Town Row Green, Rotherfield, East Sussex, against a High Court Judge's ruling that he was negligent in carrying out the vasectomy without first warning Mr Donald Thake, a British Rail guard, that it might not be permanent.
The appeal judges allowed a cross- appeal by Mr and Mrs Thake of Spring Lane, Bidborough, Tunbridge Wells, Kent, for an increase in their damages, which were awarded for the cost of bring- ing up their new daughter, Samantha, now aged 6, and the loss of Mrs Thake's earnings.
Peg-leg boxer floors his man
A one-legged boxer knocked out his opponent in the second round of a professional comeback fight.Now he is planning another bout and has his eye on the national cruiserweight title. Craig Bodzianowski, 24, said after his sensational win in Palow Heights, Illinois:
"I was never really fast in the ring pretty - flat-footed in fact. "I have always relied on punching power, not speed." Craig, from Illinois, lost his right leg below the knee in a motorcycle accident 18 months ago. "As soon as I got my artificial leg I started training again," he said. "My family stuck by me and my manager never lost faith in me". Craig flattened opponent Francis Sargent just one minute into the second round.
Now he wants to meet Marvin Frazier, son of former heavyweight champion Joe Frazier.
