Talking Drums

The West African News Magazine

Strangers' Britain

Oh baby! You've got 139 names

A couple are so proud of their baby daughter they have given her no fewer than 139 names. The baby's father John Nelson, 29, of Barrow Hill, Chesterfield, said: "We picked the names because we liked them. In fact we knocked the list down from 207."

Now unemployed John and his wife Margaret, who have three other children, must wait for a special extra-large certificate before they can register their new baby born on New Year's Eve. The full list of the baby's names is:

Tracy Mariclaire Lisa Tammy Samantha Christine Alexandra Candy Bonnie Ursala Zoe Nichola Patricia Lynda Kate Jean Sandra Karren Julie Jane Elizabeth Felicity Gabriella Jackie Corina Constance Arabella Clara Honor Geraldine Fiona Erika Fillippa Anabel Elsie Amanda Cheryl Alanna Louise Angie Beth Crystal Dawn Debbie Eileen Grace Susan Rebecca Valerie Kay Lena Margaret Anna Amy Carol Bella Avril Ava Audry Andrea Daphne Donna Cynthia Cassie Christabel Vivien Wendy Moira Jennifer Abbie Adelaide Carrissa Carla Anne Astrid Barbara Charissa Catalina Bonny Dee Hazel Iris Anthea Clarinda Bernadette Cara Alison Carrie Angela Beryl Caroline Emma Dana Vanessa Zara Violet Lynn Maggie Pamela Rosemary Ruth Cathlene Alexandrina Annette Hilary Diana Angelina Carrinna Victoria Sara Mandy Annabella Beverley Bridget Cecilia Catherine Brenda Jessica Isabella Delilah Camila Candace Helen Connie Charmaine Dorothy Melinda Nancy Mariam Vicki Selina Miriam Norma Pauline Tony Penny Shari Zsa-Zsa Queenie.

Wow! What a doll

A batch of life-size inflatable dolls were too life-like for customs men at London's Heathrow Airport.

They found the dolls, described as shop window models, had all those special little things that make women...different. So they confiscated the lot. The London firm Conegate, which brought the West German-made dolls, will ask the EEC's Court of Justice in Luxembourg to order their release under Common Market rules.

Britain is claiming the right to suspend free-trade rules because the dolls may "harm public morals". The firm says: "Dolls like these do not raise an eyebrow on the continent. They can be legally produced in England - so what is wrong with importing them?"

Strip! You are sacked

A sacked nursing assistant walked home in her bra, panties and slip after being ordered to hand over her uniform or lose her pay.

Mary-Ann Snape, a 28-year-old mother, now plans to sue her bosses for aggravated assault.

She said: "I hadn't any spare clothes." Mrs Snape was told she wasn't needed any more at the Thalassa nursing home in Gosport, Hampshire.

'Black Pearl' grabs £5,000 from banks

A beautiful girl bank robber - known at The Black Pearl - was being hunted by police. They warned: "She may be lovely to look at, but she's a dangerous lady."

The woman, in her early 20's and said to look like singer Diana Ross, has pulled a gun in at least three London raids in the past two weeks and netted £5,000. Her biggest haul of £4,000 was at first time, Peter was just starting to pull Barclays in South Lambeth. The first was at Barclays in Waterloo where she got away with £1,000. She also hit the Woolwich Building Society in Walworth, but fled empty-handed. Each time eye witnesses have been stunned by her looks: "It's almost as if they cannot believe such a beautiful girl would be involved in such a crime," said a police spokesman.

Ex-wife gets 5p a year

Divorced scaffolder Raymond Berry said he had struck a blow for men's lib after his alimony bill was reduced to 5p a year. "It's about time there was some justice for men," Ray said after the award in the High Court.

Ray, who split up with his wife Josie three years ago, said at his home in Lynton, North Devon: "I was being taken for a ride. "She had my shop, house and car. Even then she wanted more money."

But Josie, who now lives in Oxford, said: "How the hell can anyone live on 5p? "As far as I'm concerned my former husband can stick his 5p where the monkey stuffed his nuts."

Vicar runs off with lover

A retired vicar has run off with a wife of one of his parishioners. Canon Robert Jones left his wife at their retirement home at the same time as Carol Gregson walked out on her husband and two young children. Later, they both phoned their unsuspecting partners. Now Mrs Gregson's husband Brian claims: "Mr Jones retired as vicar to do this."

Canon Jones, 60, who has three grown up children, quit as vicar of Conway, North Wales, after more than 16 years.

He had known Mrs Gregson for six years but nobody suspected an affair. Mr Gregson, whose wife helped him run a children's home in near-by Morfa, said: "The first I knew about this was a phone conversation with Carol." Mr Jones' wife, Moriorie, of Llandudno, refused to comment.

Hiccup! You're sacked, barman

Barman, Peter Smith was sacked on his first day at a posh country club - after he couldn't stop hiccuping.

Nervous at working behind a bar for the pints when HIC! the first hiccup popped out. It was followed by another, and another and another...

At first, Sandy Winter, manageress at Great Chesterfield Country Club, Saffron Walden, Essex, thought it was a huge joke.

But after she was forced to serve customers herself because Peter couldn't stop, she sacked him on the spot, he claims.

Peter, 20, of Ickleton, Cambs., said: "The boss told me I couldn't work behind the bar if I had hiccups. I was told it would put members off their drinks." Sandy said: "It would have been frightfully embarrassing. But we didn't sack Peter because of his hiccups. We just felt he didn't have enough experience."

talking drums 1986-02-03 Demonstrations in Accra against Rawlings's economic measures